There is always this weird frozen moment when these things first get underway when your mind doesn't really register what's going on and weeks just blob together into a really, really, long day. I don't know if its a coping mechanism or what but the brain is a fascinating thing. Think about traumatically painful things you've gone through, you don't real remember them. You know you hurt, you know it sucked, but your mind doesn't really remember the pain. Hell, if that was the case every family would consist of one kid because no woman would be dumb enough (like yours truly) to go on having one after another!
Anyways, I think it applies to the kids too. The girls understand daddy is gone and they are upset about it, of course, but the days go on as normal. They mention his absence, but otherwise act like themselves. Kitty's biggest concern today was the chicken in her classroom and tying her shoes for her teacher. And I have noticed during training exercises that they tend to function fine until quite a few days into things; eventually reality slowly sinks in and they, as well as myself, come to feel his absence. Days progress from normal routine into little girls being sad, sneaking into my bed at 2 in the morning.
Honestly though, he has always been gone. He has missed nearly half of our marriage. People thank us all the time for the sacrifices that our families and our husbands make for the military, for this country, but I do not think that they truly understand it if they have not seen it first hand. They don't just go away for deployment. They go away for training constantly; two weeks here, 3 months there, a week in between. There is always some other duty calling them away from home.
Growing up I always said I was never going to get married or have kids. The only thing I cared about was my education, getting into college, moving on and working with animals in conservation or veterinary care and somehow God spun my tale differently than what I planned for myself. That special thing that makes me the woman who can cope with what my life involves, I think, is that my life, my marriage, is not normal. It is, much like myself, anything but normal.
While the average woman contemplates what she is going to have started for supper when her husband comes home, I only have to worry about what he would like for his first meal home. The normal 9 to 5 for us is a 5 to 9. I read from women online complaining because their husband's missed a doctors appointment that they wanted him to be at, but our men miss entire moments in their children's lives. Nobody will ever know if their daddy missed their 20 week ultrasound when they were tucked safely away in the womb; but nobody forgets daddy missing their first competition, graduation, assembly.
I am just glad that the girls (and Ivan) will understand that daddy missed those things because he had to miss them; because his focus on life was not just on us, but providing a world safe for us to live in and that sometimes we are not the most important. I have no quarrel living my life on the constant back burner; I am honored that I have a husband who is so sound and dedicated that he can put the things that matter most to the side to take care of business. As for the kids: they will always know that nobody in this world is more amazing than their dad.
I understand..I remember when my Dad left for Vietnam...I remember the "gone" time...and the weird he is "home" time. But more then that I have always remembered the he is really home times. You are a testiment to military commitment Misty. I am proud of you.
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