Im officially back on deployment time. *le sigh* This is always the worst. Normally I am ready to pass out at 9; but no, no, no... not during deployment. During deployment I don't really get tired at all. Here I am at 1030 so wide awake I think I may be forgetting to blink! Dang it all. I really do not understand it, it is so stupid.
I feel like the minute that Steven walks out of the door my brain goes stupid. I mean I was up until nearly 0200 this morning, up at 6 and Im no where near tired. Maybe there is an upside to having a baby during deployment; I dont sleep anyways, and we all know that evil little newborns never let you sleep. This may be a blessing in disguise.
*shudder* newborns scare me. Funny coming from the lady with bun #4 in the oven, but I think that first couple months where they wake you up at 10, 11, 1, 3, 4, and 5... ugh! When I found out I was pregnant with Ivan I literally felt the physical side effects of nervousness, tension... it's like damn if babies don't push you to the brink of going crazy. It's almost comical that the thought of never sleeping again lol
Okay honestly though, don't fear everyone, Im not going to end up on the news. I just am not quite ready to do this on my own.
But I feel like maybe this is a rite of passage in some way... I've done the deployments, training, balls, meetings, baby-sitting during parties, etc etc that comes with being a Marine wife, but I have been very blessed that he has been home every time I have delivered; I haven't had to deal with the whole "having a baby while your husband is thousands of miles away" deal. I just think it is really sad that he is going to miss the birth of his son. He hides it well, but I know it's a big deal to him.
blah... I am having a hard time adjusting this time around... this sucks. Im just going to go to bed... be awake there, mix things up.
I feel like the minute that Steven walks out of the door my brain goes stupid. I mean I was up until nearly 0200 this morning, up at 6 and Im no where near tired. Maybe there is an upside to having a baby during deployment; I dont sleep anyways, and we all know that evil little newborns never let you sleep. This may be a blessing in disguise.
*shudder* newborns scare me. Funny coming from the lady with bun #4 in the oven, but I think that first couple months where they wake you up at 10, 11, 1, 3, 4, and 5... ugh! When I found out I was pregnant with Ivan I literally felt the physical side effects of nervousness, tension... it's like damn if babies don't push you to the brink of going crazy. It's almost comical that the thought of never sleeping again lol
Okay honestly though, don't fear everyone, Im not going to end up on the news. I just am not quite ready to do this on my own.
But I feel like maybe this is a rite of passage in some way... I've done the deployments, training, balls, meetings, baby-sitting during parties, etc etc that comes with being a Marine wife, but I have been very blessed that he has been home every time I have delivered; I haven't had to deal with the whole "having a baby while your husband is thousands of miles away" deal. I just think it is really sad that he is going to miss the birth of his son. He hides it well, but I know it's a big deal to him.
blah... I am having a hard time adjusting this time around... this sucks. Im just going to go to bed... be awake there, mix things up.
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