Well, I honestly have to question my mental health on certain days. It feels like every time I talk to someone who is about to make a career move, their number one concern is how long that job is going to take them away from their families... I do not think we ever even considered this when he started doing what he is doing now. It's the weirdest thing to me that people are conerned with deployments and training schedules... I never really give it much thought because it is normal to us, I guess.
I remember a time when I was adjusting to Steven always being gone, and I literally had to carry a picture of him with me at all times because I was certain that I was going to forget what he looked like. There were very late nights, up with kids, where I was worried I was going insane because I did not feel like this husband of mine actually existed. How ridiculous is that?
Now, I suppose we have gotten so good at being apart, that he can be gone for majority of the year and I don't even feel like he has been gone longer than a week. Of course during his absense, I feel the lack of his presense around here; but the moment he gets back, I feel like we just pick life back up where we had to leave it off. Some friends have jokingly apologized to me about how him doing his next job is going to mean his being gone frequently and I do not really get the jokes because he's always gone... it is not a big deal around here. It is a major reason why I told him never to factor in how much he would be away from us when deciding what his next move is going to be. Its not important.
Sure, its important for the children to see and spend time with their father, and they do not need him gone endlessly, but I am trying to teach them that as military kids (and someday as wives) that they need to be supportive of the job that is providing the comforts they enjoy. I want them to look at him one day, and not be upset because he was never around, but to be proud because he made that sacrafice so that we could have more and live better. For the girls, I want them to be good wives one day, that don't get upset when work calls their husbands away. The odds of them marrying into the military are probably pretty good, it's what they know and will grow to love. They have to be able to support and understand that.
And as for Ivan, if he follows in steven's footsteps and joins, or even if he does something different. I want him to grow up seeing and understanding that a good wife doesn't care if you are gone, because even when you can't be home, that does not mean you are not important, or are no longer a part of your families life. He has the absolute most perfect role-model for what it takes to be an amazing husband, father, and provider. I have no doubts that he is going to be an amazing man someday. But I feel every amazing man needs an amazing wife that supports him back home.
So, regardless of where the Marine Corps leads us in the future... distance is irrelevant. All I care about is that while my man is away, he always remembers that he is able to do so, without worry, because we hold him close to home here.
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