fast-forward 7 years

Hey, this isn't a prank or your imagination... it's me. I forgot all about this blog. Guess once that 4th kid arrived I didn't have time to deal with a blog. Then of course the husband made it home from Afghanistan. Life took over, and its okay... because that's what life should be doing.

So - Seven whole years... I couldn't possibly recap that. The Marine Corps is officially over, we don't play those games anymore, and now we are living back up near home. It's been a long adjustment but we are doing good.

I honestly only went online because I wanted to find a way to blog about things that I am dealing with. I live a good life, but there are things I need to get in order, things I have to do for me and my family if I am going to stand here and say I don't suck. I don't know. Personal decisions huh?

Now, I'm kind of confused about what to write because I thought I was going in as a newbie- stranger... didn't recall having a toe in the water already. Craziness.

I guess I can get real for a moment. I'm quitting smoking and I am stressed to the freakin max! I don't know if I can do it. I want to be able to do it. but dang it - addiction sucks. I look back at my life and you know, I quit some hardcore super stupid things back in the day - why is this so hard? This should be a joke for me, but it's not. I'm effectively cutting out the one feel-good constant I have had in my life for the last 21 years. How do you walk away from that???

There's a slew of shit that comes with this post. Hey, lets be real. Seven years! Things have happened people and in time maybe we can get all caught up. For now... I've got a cat waiting to watch a Hallmark Christmas movie with me and it's too cold to say no.

Comments

Take A Break

Well, here we are again... another late night, I am wide awake... it has officially become tomorrow, and I don't feel sleep coming anytime soon. I haven't had a whole lot of worth-while thoughts running through my head lately; everything has become very routine and my days just sort of fade in and out of one another. I mean, it is not necessarily a bad thing, but when I get into these robotic ways I feel like it means I am slacking on the children. I may be comfortable with cleaning floors, dishes, and doing laundry at the exact same time everyday, and spending spare time watching tv, crocheting, and sitting around the house; but these poor girls must hate it. I really need to find a way that we can still go do something without me breaking my rules for pregnancy. The beach is a no-no because walking in the sand is a workout so, I cant do that. The park would be okay if it didnt mean chasing Boo all over hell and back... getting the pool out and letting them swim in the ...

Missing In Action

Well, I honestly have to question my mental health on certain days. It feels like every time I talk to someone who is about to make a career move, their number one concern is how long that job is going to take them away from their families... I do not think we ever even considered this when he started doing what he is doing now. It's the weirdest thing to me that people are conerned with deployments and training schedules... I never really give it much thought because it is normal to us, I guess. I remember a time when I was adjusting to Steven always being gone, and I literally had to carry a picture of him with me at all times because I was certain that I was going to forget what he looked like. There were very late nights, up with kids, where I was worried I was going insane because I did not feel like this husband of mine actually existed. How ridiculous is that? Now, I suppose we have gotten so good at being apart, that he can be gone for majority of the year and I do...

Im a Big Girl

There has been some conversation lately, about me being the primary contact during Steven's deployments. Primary contact is the person that is contacted in case of any situations that take place in theater (Afghanistan). If there was any type of injury, but he was okay, he would be able to call me himself, but if the injuries were extensive than they would notify me by phone on what is going on, what happened, and where he is located/headed to (medivac out of country, etc.) However if there was a casualty than I would be notified by the infamous movie-made-famous scene of the men in uniforms coming to knock on my door and ruin my life! So.... these are the facts. I have been married to this life for going on 9 years now... This is our 4th deployment, all combat deployments, and I have always understood the risk involved when my husband leaves us and heads out to do the job he has trained so tirelessly for. I have always known that he could be killed in action, or hurt, but I have n...

Mama Arty v.2.0

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