This is your captain... we are experiencing some turbulence

So, yesterday went completely against plans. I was planning on cleaning the critters and hanging out with Linda for a while, but nope, seems my body had different plans. During our trip to wal-mart I started to feel kinda 'yucky,' ended up in labor and delivery.

They hooked me up to the monitor for a while, and when they checked my cervix and it was closed, I was pretty excited about the idea of getting to go home and resuming my normal day to day. But then they said they wanted to keep me for observation for 2 hours! I was so upset... you know at the beginning of this pregnancy I was so happy that my doctor told me that I could basically function as a normal person... at the end of observation, after the contractions had calmed down and there was still no change to my cervix, I was told that my days as a normal girl were done.

I am officially back to my broken self... doing stupid things like having to buy 1/2 gal of milk because I can't carry a full one, and only taking the stairs twice a day. I am very, very bitter. I wanted so badly to be able to enjoy this pregnancy, while being allowed to handle everything around the house that is my job. While I know that I have to take the backseat and let people help, its upsetting because housework is my job, and taking care of the girls is my job, and now I'm being told "hey bitch, you can't do the only freakin' job you got..."

The final diagnosis was "preterm contractions," they weren't caused by dehydration, and they may honestly just be stress related... but what can I do about stress... look at the situation! And Im pretty bitter about it all. I just feel at a loss sometimes, and today was frustrating beyond words. dishes, laundry, dinner, and the entire time I'm trying to get things done, all I'm hearing is this siren going off in my head shouting "rule breaker, rule breaker..."

Comments

Take A Break

Well, here we are again... another late night, I am wide awake... it has officially become tomorrow, and I don't feel sleep coming anytime soon. I haven't had a whole lot of worth-while thoughts running through my head lately; everything has become very routine and my days just sort of fade in and out of one another. I mean, it is not necessarily a bad thing, but when I get into these robotic ways I feel like it means I am slacking on the children. I may be comfortable with cleaning floors, dishes, and doing laundry at the exact same time everyday, and spending spare time watching tv, crocheting, and sitting around the house; but these poor girls must hate it. I really need to find a way that we can still go do something without me breaking my rules for pregnancy. The beach is a no-no because walking in the sand is a workout so, I cant do that. The park would be okay if it didnt mean chasing Boo all over hell and back... getting the pool out and letting them swim in the ...

Im a Big Girl

There has been some conversation lately, about me being the primary contact during Steven's deployments. Primary contact is the person that is contacted in case of any situations that take place in theater (Afghanistan). If there was any type of injury, but he was okay, he would be able to call me himself, but if the injuries were extensive than they would notify me by phone on what is going on, what happened, and where he is located/headed to (medivac out of country, etc.) However if there was a casualty than I would be notified by the infamous movie-made-famous scene of the men in uniforms coming to knock on my door and ruin my life! So.... these are the facts. I have been married to this life for going on 9 years now... This is our 4th deployment, all combat deployments, and I have always understood the risk involved when my husband leaves us and heads out to do the job he has trained so tirelessly for. I have always known that he could be killed in action, or hurt, but I have n...

Missing In Action

Well, I honestly have to question my mental health on certain days. It feels like every time I talk to someone who is about to make a career move, their number one concern is how long that job is going to take them away from their families... I do not think we ever even considered this when he started doing what he is doing now. It's the weirdest thing to me that people are conerned with deployments and training schedules... I never really give it much thought because it is normal to us, I guess. I remember a time when I was adjusting to Steven always being gone, and I literally had to carry a picture of him with me at all times because I was certain that I was going to forget what he looked like. There were very late nights, up with kids, where I was worried I was going insane because I did not feel like this husband of mine actually existed. How ridiculous is that? Now, I suppose we have gotten so good at being apart, that he can be gone for majority of the year and I do...

Mama Arty v.2.0

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